Farm News 05-21-06
Sunday morning, after chores, 68°
Flowers
The Russian Olives, Eleaegnus angustifolia, are blooming. They sure smell good. And, the Mock Orange, probably Philadelphus coronarius, is about to bloom.
The Russian Olives need to be spread out around the place, more. At the moment they are all together at the parking end of the drive. If two or three grew by the pond, another two or three at the southeast corner of the lawn, and several clumps along the west fence line, this place would have more fragrance at this time of the year.
Silverberry, E. commutata, is native to this area and also is fragrant. There used to be one in the woods but it was lost when the new highway took all the trees between the yard and the road. I found that tree by following the fragrance one year.
The west fence line is a good place for plants that can tolerate dry conditions. The highest point is on the west fence line and the soil is porous. Both Russian Olive and Mock Orange are good plants to consider for dry conditions.
At sunset on a nice day, all winds stop. The air is quiet, and the scent of the Russian Olives flows out upon us.
Incubation
Drusilla is now taking her babies outdoors. Her favorite place to spend the day is the rabbitry, which is exactly where I would like for her to spend the day.
Blanche turkey spent Wednesday night on her nest, her first night. Sometime during the night something grabbed her and hauled her away, probably a coyote. That leaves two turkeys, Guy, who is mean, and Blue, who is busy incubating her eggs. I think I'll give up on turkeys and butcher Guy as soon as practical.
A Cardinal hen (Cardinalis cardinalis) has a nest west of the house. Saturday evening I reached up to it and felt what I thought was a baby bird and two unhatched eggs. Last week there were three eggs in the nest.
A Bluejay and a Dove both appear to have nests in a Cedar tree directly in front of the living room window. The tree is just far enough away to be able to focus on it with the spotting scope.
The brown duck hen is still on her nest. She should hatch something soon. Bebe goose is also still on her nest, even though there have not been any eggs there for weeks. Se is definitely persistent.
A second Drusilla has a nest in the barn and started setting Thursday.
Ting Chronicles[2]
Ting's personality almost conceals her physical features. Ting is a dumb, dishonest, self-centered individual, completely free of any inhibitions erected by a conscience. Sociopathic humans are often pleasant when you first meet them. Ting is sociopathic, but never seems pleasant.
Ting's vocabulary lacks words for please, thank you, excuse me, and where is the restroom. Despite having wings instead of hands she is able to display an upraised middle finger at any time. She hates goats, dogs, humans, cats, turkeys, geese, ducks, other chickens, rabbits, and Jack, the black snake.
If she makes any distinctions between truth and fabrication, it is to have preference for fabrication. This week, for instance, she has been spending most of her days with Guy Noir, the tom turkey. As they are probably the two most obtuse examples of their species that one might find, it should be easy to find some sort of rationalization for their apparently amicable relationship.
Civilized humans, though, are, fortunately, severely limited in their capacity to understand the sort of self-centered individual that can be found in the living descendants of Tyrannosaurus rex. (Yes, science suggests that birds are the descendants of the Tyrannosaurs.)
Tom domestic turkeys have an interesting approach to sex. From long before the beginning of mating season to long after they display and masturbate. Remember: think Tyrannosaurs. Tom turkeys seem to place expend more energy attempting to enhance the perception of their studliness than they do to siring offspring. They make no attempt to mate unless the object of their desire is squatting on the ground, ready to be trampled.
When toms masturbate, they stamp their feet on the ground rhythmically and with increasing tempo until they finally squat, stop stamping, and make a lot of disgusting squishy sounds with their vents. It seems to solve their problem for a few minutes. They prefer to do this atop rounded objects such as anthills, inverted wash pans, or, luckily, a squatting hen turkey, but they will settle for flat ground if nothing more rounded is immediately available.
Ting has stated, emphatically, “I do not squat!”
That seems to establish that her relationship with Guy is 'platonic', a problematic situation as an independent observer would have great difficulty finding anything platonic in the characters of Guy and Ting. These opinions lead to considering the possibility that the relationship is neither romantic nor platonic, but is conspiratorial.
Guy would be on death row, except there is no pressing reason to incarcerate him. He is too dumb to leave the place where he is under a death sentence and go somewhere else. So, in these last few weeks of his life, Guy has a cheap hooker mentality girl friend who he is unable to acknowledge because he is too busy displaying and masturbating.
Are we supposed to feel sorry for someone?
E-mail Subscribers: To subscribe, unsubscribe, contribute stories, complain or send a gift subscription, send an email to FarmNews@GeezerNet.com . The editor reserves the right to steal ideas submitted, rewrite submissions, and sign false names to them whenever it strikes his fancy to do so.
Flowers
The Russian Olives, Eleaegnus angustifolia, are blooming. They sure smell good. And, the Mock Orange, probably Philadelphus coronarius, is about to bloom.
The Russian Olives need to be spread out around the place, more. At the moment they are all together at the parking end of the drive. If two or three grew by the pond, another two or three at the southeast corner of the lawn, and several clumps along the west fence line, this place would have more fragrance at this time of the year.
Silverberry, E. commutata, is native to this area and also is fragrant. There used to be one in the woods but it was lost when the new highway took all the trees between the yard and the road. I found that tree by following the fragrance one year.
The west fence line is a good place for plants that can tolerate dry conditions. The highest point is on the west fence line and the soil is porous. Both Russian Olive and Mock Orange are good plants to consider for dry conditions.
At sunset on a nice day, all winds stop. The air is quiet, and the scent of the Russian Olives flows out upon us.
Incubation
Drusilla is now taking her babies outdoors. Her favorite place to spend the day is the rabbitry, which is exactly where I would like for her to spend the day.
Blanche turkey spent Wednesday night on her nest, her first night. Sometime during the night something grabbed her and hauled her away, probably a coyote. That leaves two turkeys, Guy, who is mean, and Blue, who is busy incubating her eggs. I think I'll give up on turkeys and butcher Guy as soon as practical.
A Cardinal hen (Cardinalis cardinalis) has a nest west of the house. Saturday evening I reached up to it and felt what I thought was a baby bird and two unhatched eggs. Last week there were three eggs in the nest.
A Bluejay and a Dove both appear to have nests in a Cedar tree directly in front of the living room window. The tree is just far enough away to be able to focus on it with the spotting scope.
The brown duck hen is still on her nest. She should hatch something soon. Bebe goose is also still on her nest, even though there have not been any eggs there for weeks. Se is definitely persistent.
A second Drusilla has a nest in the barn and started setting Thursday.
Ting Chronicles[2]
Ting's personality almost conceals her physical features. Ting is a dumb, dishonest, self-centered individual, completely free of any inhibitions erected by a conscience. Sociopathic humans are often pleasant when you first meet them. Ting is sociopathic, but never seems pleasant.
Ting's vocabulary lacks words for please, thank you, excuse me, and where is the restroom. Despite having wings instead of hands she is able to display an upraised middle finger at any time. She hates goats, dogs, humans, cats, turkeys, geese, ducks, other chickens, rabbits, and Jack, the black snake.
If she makes any distinctions between truth and fabrication, it is to have preference for fabrication. This week, for instance, she has been spending most of her days with Guy Noir, the tom turkey. As they are probably the two most obtuse examples of their species that one might find, it should be easy to find some sort of rationalization for their apparently amicable relationship.
Civilized humans, though, are, fortunately, severely limited in their capacity to understand the sort of self-centered individual that can be found in the living descendants of Tyrannosaurus rex. (Yes, science suggests that birds are the descendants of the Tyrannosaurs.)
Tom domestic turkeys have an interesting approach to sex. From long before the beginning of mating season to long after they display and masturbate. Remember: think Tyrannosaurs. Tom turkeys seem to place expend more energy attempting to enhance the perception of their studliness than they do to siring offspring. They make no attempt to mate unless the object of their desire is squatting on the ground, ready to be trampled.
When toms masturbate, they stamp their feet on the ground rhythmically and with increasing tempo until they finally squat, stop stamping, and make a lot of disgusting squishy sounds with their vents. It seems to solve their problem for a few minutes. They prefer to do this atop rounded objects such as anthills, inverted wash pans, or, luckily, a squatting hen turkey, but they will settle for flat ground if nothing more rounded is immediately available.
Ting has stated, emphatically, “I do not squat!”
That seems to establish that her relationship with Guy is 'platonic', a problematic situation as an independent observer would have great difficulty finding anything platonic in the characters of Guy and Ting. These opinions lead to considering the possibility that the relationship is neither romantic nor platonic, but is conspiratorial.
Guy would be on death row, except there is no pressing reason to incarcerate him. He is too dumb to leave the place where he is under a death sentence and go somewhere else. So, in these last few weeks of his life, Guy has a cheap hooker mentality girl friend who he is unable to acknowledge because he is too busy displaying and masturbating.
Are we supposed to feel sorry for someone?
E-mail Subscribers: To subscribe, unsubscribe, contribute stories, complain or send a gift subscription, send an email to FarmNews@GeezerNet.com . The editor reserves the right to steal ideas submitted, rewrite submissions, and sign false names to them whenever it strikes his fancy to do so.
posted by The Geezer at 8:45 AM
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