Farm News 04-09-06
Sunday morning, after chores, 44°
Ting Solicits Proposition
Ah, yes, bless her little heart, Ting has fan mail. In fact, it has grown to the volume that Ting now has her own email address: Ting@geezernet.com. She appreciates all mail although she is not always able to respond to every message. She collects all fan e-mails and saves them hoping to use them as part of her memoirs.
This week her mail included a request from a bunch of owl-huggers down in Texas that she come down to talk to their group about organizing to encourage better TV programming for poultry. Amazingly, they were willing to pay her travel expenses. Ting, of course, obviously wants to go, but all she would say was, “Oh, dear, that date corresponds with the Manhattan Poultry Show, which I shouldn't miss, but it seems such a noble cause. Oh, I'll have to sleep on it a few nights or I will have a frightful headache.”
If not her exact words, the above is at least a good paraphrase. Ting mangles English almost beyond comprehension and the editor attempts to straighten it out a bit. She says English is her second language but the truth is that she doesn't have a first language, yet.
It might appear wimpish to pander to an old chicken but it seems the easiest way to maintain peace, so I maintain her email address for her, read her mail to her (she says reading gives her a headache), and assist her in collecting it into her memoirs.
Let's hear it folks, three cheers for Ting and send her a fan letter. Make the old bat happy, if possible.
Whoops! The second week of incubation
I just discovered I accidentally turned off the power to the incubator sometime yesterday, probably more than 24 hours ago. Fourteen duck eggs and eight goose eggs are in their second week. I'll bet most of them survive the mistreatment. I sure hope they will.
The Garden
Broccoli, Cabbage, and Cauliflower plants are out. They have had a light frost but seem to be doing well. The onion plants look fine but something is chewing on the garlic. The geese are at the head of my list of suspects. I've been feeling sorry for them, shut up with the goats, and turned them out to frolic on the lawn. I think they have been sneaking into the garden when my back was turned and trimming some plants.
Last fall I set out some bulbs of some sort; so far I haven't been able to remember what they were. Whatever they were, whatever it is is eating them right down to the ground. The geese have been sentenced to confinement in quarters until late summer, and the nibbling seems to have stopped.
Last fall I filled a paper sandwich bag with seed heads from columbine and then scattered them along the edges of the path down to the pond. At least five plants have come up and are establishing. Those five plants will probably, in total, produce a sandwich bag of seed heads in two years, so, in two years, there will be twice as many seed heads being produced along the trail. At that point, mowing them occasionally can scatter the seed heads even farther back into the woods. Sometimes, planting things can yield compound interest at a high rate.
Dr. M Writes (because she is tired of thinking about the wedding)
Un canard: Vulpes Vulpes and Burl Ives
The fox went out on a chilly night; Prayed to the moon for to give him light.
Red foxes are actually not nocturnal. A healthy fox will hunt mice and voles during the day. Or, in the case of the fox that might be living underneath the deck at my parents’ house, sun himself in the backyard on a nice mound of woodchips. His hunting habits are unknown, but, I think he has fleas because I’ve seen him scratching. His worship habits are also unknown, but it would make sense for a woodland creature to pray to the moon for light.
Many a mile he had to go that night before he reached the town-o (town-o town-o)
Well, here in the exurbs, town consist of enormous Victorian houses that are either falling down or being turned into Bed and Breakfasts. The outlying parts, such as where my parents live, have plenty of “edge” habitats. The formation of a lawn creates a perfect edge, dense brush to hide in, with a vole rich lawn to have dinner. So my thought is that the fox is pretty happy not going that far.
He ran till he came to a great big pen, where the ducks and the geese were kept therein. A couple of you are going to grease my chin before I leave this town-o, town-o, town-o.
Penning fowl at night is a good way to keep them from marauding predators such as foxes, but also raccoons. I don’t know that since the house up the street that had geese was sold that anyone keeps water fowl around here. Also duck can be greasy. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a goose, but goose fat has long been used for a light source in candles. The fox in our backyard has a pretty slick coat, so he may be living on the fat of the land as it were, but that fat is most likely coming from the garbage put out on Wednesdays.
He grabbed a grey goose by the neck, strung a duck across his back; he didn’t mind that quack, quack, quack and the legs all dangling down-o, down-o, down-o.
Canines actually rarely kill by ripping out the throat of their prey. Rather, they attack from behind, hamstring and eviscerate their prey. This is one reason why many communities have open season on dogs during hunting season. A pack of wild dogs is a dangerous group. Foxes don’t hunt in packs though, and I think (having met several mean geese, and plenty of very timid foxes) that the fox would more likely go for the eggs and skedaddle.
Well old Mother Flipper-Flapper jumped out of bed, ran to the window and threw out her head crying John John the grey goose is gone and the fox is on the town-o, town-o, town-o.
Ducks and geese certainly can make a commotion. But bully for Mother for being able to see a grey goose in the mouth of a red fox in the middle of the night. That’s some eyesight!
Well John he ran to the top of the hill, blew his horn both loud and shrill. The fox he said “better flee with my kill for they’ll soon be on my trail-o, trail-o, trail-o”.
There is a current controversy in England over banning fox hunting. Apparently the city folk think that it is cruel to hop on a horse, let loose the dogs, and trail an oversized furry cat like creature that can out-think a foxhound and a Warmblood horse in its sleep. In reality, preservation of hunting land preserves green space that everyone benefits from; even the city folk who visit the bed and breakfasts in town and come hike in our woods and look at our trees.
He ran till he came to his cozy den, there were the little ones –eight –nine –ten they cried “Daddy! Daddy! better go back again for it must be a mighty fine town-o, town-o, town-o”
Well the den that the fox has under my parents deck is probably pretty cozy. It’s nice and dry because the back yard drains very well. I am not sure about the little ones though. It is still a bit early in the New England spring to see kits.
Well the fox and his wife without any strife, cut up the goose with a carving knife. They never had such a supper in their life and the little ones chewed on the bones-o, bones-o, bones-o.
So, the fox hunted his supper, and brought it home to the missus as it were. Foxes are omnivorous, but, they lack opposable thumbs for the operation of tools though. The goose met an untimely demise (may have been deserved though, there was probably some little kid it had menaced) but had lived a pretty good life over there in town. And thems of us that eat meat oughta know where it comes from and what kind of life it lived before it came to our plate.
Weddings
Poor Dr. M. is tired of thinking about her upcoming wedding. I thought the hippies had solved that problem: don't have a wedding, just shack up. If you feel you need a document of some sort to prove you are married, if you wish to be in such a state, then let me know and I'll write something up for you. I am an ordained minister, despite being an atheist. Some people see this as oxymoronic but I don't have any problems with it at all. So, occasionally, I conduct weddings.
Marriage is a public contract: two people make an agreement with each other and proclaim the details of that agreement at some sort of public ceremony. That ceremony traditionally includes two people who act as the public representatives to the creation of the contract, and a person who is willing to certify that a significant number of citizens would think that all four participants knew what they are doing, by some sort of standard, though not necessarily every standard.
The basic message of a wedding ceremony is that the participants are asking the community to recognize and support their agreement. They say that this agreement is to lash the rest of their lives. Yet, when they feel they are unable to continue in the contract, they fail to ask the representatives of their community for assistance in resolving their difficulty. That seems very rude to me.
E-mail Subscribers: To subscribe, unsubscribe, contribute stories, complain or send a gift subscription, send an email to FarmNews@GeezerNet.com . The editor reserves the right to steal ideas submitted, rewrite submissions, and sign false names to them whenever it strikes his fancy to do so.
Please address fan mail for Ting to Ting@Geezernet.com.
Ting Solicits Proposition
Ah, yes, bless her little heart, Ting has fan mail. In fact, it has grown to the volume that Ting now has her own email address: Ting@geezernet.com. She appreciates all mail although she is not always able to respond to every message. She collects all fan e-mails and saves them hoping to use them as part of her memoirs.
This week her mail included a request from a bunch of owl-huggers down in Texas that she come down to talk to their group about organizing to encourage better TV programming for poultry. Amazingly, they were willing to pay her travel expenses. Ting, of course, obviously wants to go, but all she would say was, “Oh, dear, that date corresponds with the Manhattan Poultry Show, which I shouldn't miss, but it seems such a noble cause. Oh, I'll have to sleep on it a few nights or I will have a frightful headache.”
If not her exact words, the above is at least a good paraphrase. Ting mangles English almost beyond comprehension and the editor attempts to straighten it out a bit. She says English is her second language but the truth is that she doesn't have a first language, yet.
It might appear wimpish to pander to an old chicken but it seems the easiest way to maintain peace, so I maintain her email address for her, read her mail to her (she says reading gives her a headache), and assist her in collecting it into her memoirs.
Let's hear it folks, three cheers for Ting and send her a fan letter. Make the old bat happy, if possible.
Whoops! The second week of incubation
I just discovered I accidentally turned off the power to the incubator sometime yesterday, probably more than 24 hours ago. Fourteen duck eggs and eight goose eggs are in their second week. I'll bet most of them survive the mistreatment. I sure hope they will.
The Garden
Broccoli, Cabbage, and Cauliflower plants are out. They have had a light frost but seem to be doing well. The onion plants look fine but something is chewing on the garlic. The geese are at the head of my list of suspects. I've been feeling sorry for them, shut up with the goats, and turned them out to frolic on the lawn. I think they have been sneaking into the garden when my back was turned and trimming some plants.
Last fall I set out some bulbs of some sort; so far I haven't been able to remember what they were. Whatever they were, whatever it is is eating them right down to the ground. The geese have been sentenced to confinement in quarters until late summer, and the nibbling seems to have stopped.
Last fall I filled a paper sandwich bag with seed heads from columbine and then scattered them along the edges of the path down to the pond. At least five plants have come up and are establishing. Those five plants will probably, in total, produce a sandwich bag of seed heads in two years, so, in two years, there will be twice as many seed heads being produced along the trail. At that point, mowing them occasionally can scatter the seed heads even farther back into the woods. Sometimes, planting things can yield compound interest at a high rate.
Dr. M Writes (because she is tired of thinking about the wedding)
Un canard: Vulpes Vulpes and Burl Ives
The fox went out on a chilly night; Prayed to the moon for to give him light.
Red foxes are actually not nocturnal. A healthy fox will hunt mice and voles during the day. Or, in the case of the fox that might be living underneath the deck at my parents’ house, sun himself in the backyard on a nice mound of woodchips. His hunting habits are unknown, but, I think he has fleas because I’ve seen him scratching. His worship habits are also unknown, but it would make sense for a woodland creature to pray to the moon for light.
Many a mile he had to go that night before he reached the town-o (town-o town-o)
Well, here in the exurbs, town consist of enormous Victorian houses that are either falling down or being turned into Bed and Breakfasts. The outlying parts, such as where my parents live, have plenty of “edge” habitats. The formation of a lawn creates a perfect edge, dense brush to hide in, with a vole rich lawn to have dinner. So my thought is that the fox is pretty happy not going that far.
He ran till he came to a great big pen, where the ducks and the geese were kept therein. A couple of you are going to grease my chin before I leave this town-o, town-o, town-o.
Penning fowl at night is a good way to keep them from marauding predators such as foxes, but also raccoons. I don’t know that since the house up the street that had geese was sold that anyone keeps water fowl around here. Also duck can be greasy. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a goose, but goose fat has long been used for a light source in candles. The fox in our backyard has a pretty slick coat, so he may be living on the fat of the land as it were, but that fat is most likely coming from the garbage put out on Wednesdays.
He grabbed a grey goose by the neck, strung a duck across his back; he didn’t mind that quack, quack, quack and the legs all dangling down-o, down-o, down-o.
Canines actually rarely kill by ripping out the throat of their prey. Rather, they attack from behind, hamstring and eviscerate their prey. This is one reason why many communities have open season on dogs during hunting season. A pack of wild dogs is a dangerous group. Foxes don’t hunt in packs though, and I think (having met several mean geese, and plenty of very timid foxes) that the fox would more likely go for the eggs and skedaddle.
Well old Mother Flipper-Flapper jumped out of bed, ran to the window and threw out her head crying John John the grey goose is gone and the fox is on the town-o, town-o, town-o.
Ducks and geese certainly can make a commotion. But bully for Mother for being able to see a grey goose in the mouth of a red fox in the middle of the night. That’s some eyesight!
Well John he ran to the top of the hill, blew his horn both loud and shrill. The fox he said “better flee with my kill for they’ll soon be on my trail-o, trail-o, trail-o”.
There is a current controversy in England over banning fox hunting. Apparently the city folk think that it is cruel to hop on a horse, let loose the dogs, and trail an oversized furry cat like creature that can out-think a foxhound and a Warmblood horse in its sleep. In reality, preservation of hunting land preserves green space that everyone benefits from; even the city folk who visit the bed and breakfasts in town and come hike in our woods and look at our trees.
He ran till he came to his cozy den, there were the little ones –eight –nine –ten they cried “Daddy! Daddy! better go back again for it must be a mighty fine town-o, town-o, town-o”
Well the den that the fox has under my parents deck is probably pretty cozy. It’s nice and dry because the back yard drains very well. I am not sure about the little ones though. It is still a bit early in the New England spring to see kits.
Well the fox and his wife without any strife, cut up the goose with a carving knife. They never had such a supper in their life and the little ones chewed on the bones-o, bones-o, bones-o.
So, the fox hunted his supper, and brought it home to the missus as it were. Foxes are omnivorous, but, they lack opposable thumbs for the operation of tools though. The goose met an untimely demise (may have been deserved though, there was probably some little kid it had menaced) but had lived a pretty good life over there in town. And thems of us that eat meat oughta know where it comes from and what kind of life it lived before it came to our plate.
Weddings
Poor Dr. M. is tired of thinking about her upcoming wedding. I thought the hippies had solved that problem: don't have a wedding, just shack up. If you feel you need a document of some sort to prove you are married, if you wish to be in such a state, then let me know and I'll write something up for you. I am an ordained minister, despite being an atheist. Some people see this as oxymoronic but I don't have any problems with it at all. So, occasionally, I conduct weddings.
Marriage is a public contract: two people make an agreement with each other and proclaim the details of that agreement at some sort of public ceremony. That ceremony traditionally includes two people who act as the public representatives to the creation of the contract, and a person who is willing to certify that a significant number of citizens would think that all four participants knew what they are doing, by some sort of standard, though not necessarily every standard.
The basic message of a wedding ceremony is that the participants are asking the community to recognize and support their agreement. They say that this agreement is to lash the rest of their lives. Yet, when they feel they are unable to continue in the contract, they fail to ask the representatives of their community for assistance in resolving their difficulty. That seems very rude to me.
E-mail Subscribers: To subscribe, unsubscribe, contribute stories, complain or send a gift subscription, send an email to FarmNews@GeezerNet.com . The editor reserves the right to steal ideas submitted, rewrite submissions, and sign false names to them whenever it strikes his fancy to do so.
Please address fan mail for Ting to Ting@Geezernet.com.
posted by The Geezer at 8:35 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home