Farm News 11-18-07

Sunday morning, after chores, 45°

Barn News

Brindle lost her bunnies. Tuesday morning they were fine, but on Tuesday evening they were dead. I don't know what happened to them, things like that just happen sometimes. Brindle doesn't seem to be doing a very good job of mothering. She is nervous and excitable, which might be the source of the problem, so I think I will replace her with a more docile doe.

Shotgun's five kittens are starting to explore the barn. Three of them will come down out of the loft now with Pitiful leading the way. Pitiful is still the noisiest cat in the barn, yowling his head off whenever anything displeases him in any way.

A Gravid Captain

Several readers have asked why Dr. M. hasn't written anything lately. Well, the truth is that Dr. M. is acting like a woman: she's pregnant and busy trying to find uniforms that will fit her. For those who didn't know, Dr. M. is a Captain in the US Army, keeping Army dogs healthy while doing all the other things that young mothers-to-be do. The sonogram says she is going to produce a boy, a trick she will probably accomplish without problems even though she has no previous experience in producing babies.

In the Army enlisted soldiers are provided with a set of uniforms, but officer's are given a uniform allowance which they use to purchase their uniforms. Dr. M. needs maternity uniforms, a difficult item to find at Wal-Mart. After she has the baby it might be some time before her first uniforms will fit again, if ever, so she might need to purchase a set of post-partum uniforms. I'm sure the Army didn't take any of these problems into account when they calculated the uniform allowance for officers.

Some Speeches Should Be Repeated

Address by Mayor Ross C. "Rocky" Anderson

October 27, 2007, Salt Lake City, Utah

Today, as we come together once again in this great city, we raise our voices in unison to say to President Bush, to Vice President Cheney, to other members of the Bush Administration (past and present), to a majority of Congress, including Utah's entire congressional delegation, and to much of the mainstream media: "You have failed us miserably and we won't take it any more."

"While we had every reason to expect far more of you, you have been pompous, greedy, cruel, and incompetent as you have led this great nation to a moral, military, and national security abyss."

"You have breached trust with the American people in the most egregious ways. You have utterly failed in the performance of your jobs. You have undermined our Constitution, permitted the violation of the most fundamental treaty obligations, and betrayed the rule of law."

"You have engaged in, or permitted, heinous human rights abuses of the sort never before countenanced in our nation's history as a matter of official policy. You have sent American men and women to kill and be killed on the basis of lies, on the basis of shifting justifications, without competent leadership, and without even a coherent plan for this monumental blunder."

"We are here to tell you: We won't take it any more!"

"You have acted in direct contravention of values that we, as Americans who love our country, hold dear. You have deceived us in the most cynical, outrageous ways. You have undermined, or allowed the undermining of, our constitutional system of checks and balances among the three presumed co-equal branches of government. You have helped lead our nation to the brink of fascism, of a dictatorship contemptuous of our nation's treaty obligations, federal statutory law, our Constitution, and the rule of law."

"Because of you, and because of your jingoistic false `patriotism,' our world is far more dangerous, our nation is far more despised, and the threat of terrorism is far greater than ever before.

It has been absolutely astounding how you have committed the most horrendous acts, causing such needless tragedy in the lives of millions of people, yet you wear your so-called religion on your sleeves, asserting your God-is-on-my-side nonsense when what you have done flies in the face of any religious or humanitarian tradition. Your hypocrisy is mind-boggling and disgraceful. What part of "Thou shalt not kill" do you not understand? What part of the "Golden rule" do you not understand? What part of "be honest," "be responsible," and "be accountable" don't you understand? What part of "Blessed are the peacekeepers" do you not understand?

Because of you, hundreds of thousands of people have been killed, many thousands of people have suffered horrendous lifetime injuries, and millions have been run off from their homes. For the sake of our nation, for the sake of our children, and for the sake of our brothers and sisters around the world, we are morally compelled to say, as loudly as we can, `We won't take it any more!' "

"As United States agents kidnap, disappear, and torture human beings around the world, you justify, you deceive, and you cover up. We find what you have done to men, women and children, and to the good name and reputation of the United States, so appalling, so unconscionable, and so outrageous as to compel us to call upon you to step aside and allow other men and women who are competent, true to our nation's values, and with high moral principles to stand in your places ­ for the good of our nation, for the good of our children, and for the good of our world."

In the case of the President and Vice President, this means impeachment and removal from office, without any further delay from a complacent, complicit Congress, the Democratic majority of which cares more about political gain in 2008 than it does about the vindication of our Constitution, the rule of law, and democratic accountability.

It means the election of people as President and Vice President who, unlike most of the presidential candidates from both major parties, have not aided and abetted in the perpetration of the illegal, tragic, devastating invasion and occupation of Iraq. And it means the election of people as President and Vice President who will commit to return our nation to the moral and strategic imperative of refraining from torturing human beings.

In the case of the majority of Congress, it means electing people who are diligent enough to learn the facts, including reading available National Intelligence Estimates, before voting to go to war. It means electing to Congress men and women who will jealously guard Congress's sole prerogative to declare war. It means electing to Congress men and women who will not submit like vapid lap dogs to presidential requests for blank checks to engage in so-called preemptive wars, for legislation permitting warrantless wiretapping of communications involving US citizens, and for dangerous, irresponsible, saber-rattling legislation like the recent Kyl-Lieberman amendment.

We must avoid the trap of focusing the blame solely upon President Bush and Vice-President Cheney. This is not just about a few people who have wronged our country and the world. They were enabled by members of both parties in Congress, they were enabled by the pathetic mainstream news media, and, ultimately, they have been enabled by the American people 40% of whom are so ill-informed they still think Iraq was behind the 9/11 attacks a people who know and care more about baseball statistics and which drunken starlets are wearing underwear than they know and care about the atrocities being committed every single day in our name by a government for which we need to take responsibility.

As loyal Americans, without regard to political partisanship -- as veterans, as teachers, as religious leaders, as working men and women, as students, as professionals, as businesspeople, as public servants, as retirees, as people of all ages, races, ethnic origins, sexual orientations, and faiths -- we are here to say to the Bush administration, to the majority of Congress, and to the mainstream media: "You have violated your solemn responsibilities. You have undermined our democracy, spat upon our Constitution, and engaged in outrageous, despicable acts. You have brought our nation to a point of immorality, inhumanity, and illegality of immense, tragic, unprecedented proportions."

"But we will live up to our responsibilities as citizens, as brothers and sisters of those who have suffered as a result of the imperial bullying of the United States government, and as moral actors who must take a stand: And we will, and must, mean it when we say `We won't take it any more.'"

If we want principled, courageous elected officials, we need to be principled, courageous, and tenacious ourselves. History has demonstrated that our elected officials are not the leaders - the leadership has to come from us. If we don't insist, if we don't persist, then we are not living up to our responsibilities as citizens in a democracy and our responsibilities as moral human beings. If we remain silent, we signal to Congress and the Bush administration and to candidates running for office and to the world that we support the status quo.

Silence is complicity. Only by standing up for what's right and never letting down can we say we are doing our part.

Our government, on the basis of a campaign we now know was entirely fraudulent, attacked and militarily occupied a nation that posed no danger to the United States. Our government, acting in our name, has caused immense, unjustified death and destruction.

It all started five years ago, yet where have we, the American people, been? At this point, we are responsible. We get together once in a while at demonstrations and complain about Bush and Cheney, about Congress, and about the pathetic news media. We point fingers and yell a lot. Then most people politely go away until another demonstration a few months later.

How many people can honestly say they have spent as much time learning about and opposing the outrages of the Bush administration as they have spent watching sports or mindless television programs during the past five years? Escapist, time-sapping sports and insipid entertainment have indeed become the opiate of the masses.

Why is this country so sound asleep? Why do we abide what is happening to our nation, to our Constitution, to the cause of peace and international law and order? Why are we not doing all in our power to put an end to this madness?

We should be in the streets regularly and students should be raising hell on our campuses. We should be making it clear in every way possible that apologies or convoluted, disingenuous explanations just don't cut it when presidential candidates and so many others voted to authorize George Bush and his neo-con buddies to send American men and women to attack and occupy Iraq.

Let's awaken, and wake up the country by committing here and now to do all each of us can to take our nation back. Let them hear us across the country, as we ask others to join us: "We won't take it any more!"

I implore you: Draw a line. Figure out exactly where your own moral breaking point is. How much will you put up with before you say "No more" and mean it?

I have drawn my line as a matter of simple personal morality: I cannot, and will not, support any candidate who has voted to fund the atrocities in Iraq. I cannot, and will not, support any candidate who will not commit to remove all US troops, as soon as possible, from Iraq. I cannot, and will not, support any candidate who has supported legislation that takes us one step closer to attacking Iran. I cannot, and will not, support any candidate who has not fought to stop the kidnapping, disappearances, and torture being carried on in our name.

If we expect our nation's elected officials to take us seriously, let us send a powerful message they cannot misunderstand. Let them know we really do have our moral breaking point. Let them know we have drawn a bright line. Let them know they cannot take our support for granted, that, regardless of their party and regardless of other political considerations, they will not have our support if they cannot provide, and have not provided, principled leadership.

The people of this nation may have been far too quiet for five years, but let us pledge that we won't let it go on one more day ­ that we will do all we can to put an end to the illegalities, the moral degradation, and the disintegration of our nation's reputation in the world.

Let us be unified in drawing the line - in declaring that we do have a moral breaking point. Let us insist, together, in supporting our troops and in gratitude for the freedoms for which our veterans gave so much, that we bring our troops home from Iraq, that we return our government to a constitutional democracy, and that we commit to honoring the fundamental principles of human rights.

In defense of our country, in defense of our Constitution, in defense of our shared values as Americans ­ and as moral human beings ­ we declare today that we will fight in every way possible to stop the insanity, stop the continued military occupation of Iraq, and stop the moral depravity reflected by the kidnapping, disappearing, and torture of people around the world.

www.GeezerNet.com

The GeezerNet web site will be down indefinitely. I'm spending too much time on maintaining it and not enough time on doing the things I enjoy. Farm News will still be available online at idfaFarmNews.blogspot.com.

Rocket Science 101

When Floyd and I were in college we occasionally discussed the problems we saw in acquiring enough money to support our various habits, such as drinking Southern Comfort, loving women, and driving foreign sports cars. Working was entirely too time consuming and offered little in the way of intellectual stimulation. Crime seemed messy and subject to errors that could lead to harming the innocent, and, though lazy and shiftless, we had a few morals. Show business, we decided, seemed our best bet, as it offered flexible work schedules, lots of women, and could be intellectually challenging. So, we decided to start with rocketry.

Rockets, at least those capable of launching things like Sputnik into orbit, were entirely too expensive for the average student to purchase. If we had had that kind of money we would have used it to buy more Southern Comfort and forgotten the whole scheme. Sending objects to space on pocket change was going to require ingenuity, the only resource we had readily available in any quantity.

Floyd discovered a nice, small, dining table sitting by the street waiting for the trash truck and immediately rescued it from a fate worse than death. We shortened the legs on one side and then lugged it down to the basement apartment, where we re-designated it as a drawing board, an essential tool for rocket designers. A few pencils, some wrapping paper with one white side, a ruler, and an eraser and, Shazam!, we had a rocket design center, all for less than $1 and two man-hours of labor. By then, we knew we were on the right track.

We looked at several pictures of rockets and decided that one of the mistakes of the German rocket scientists was that they made their rockets cylindrical in shape. Making a rocket square in cross section would be much easier and require less investment in forming it. Also, we decided that a cardboard skin would be much less expensive than aluminum.

Love Box Co. in Wichita was owned by Bob Love, one of the founders of the John Birch Society. That's where we stole our cardboard. We had some morals, but we weren't so silly as to worry about sinning against a founder of the John Birch Society. Floyd stole a large jar of potassium nitrate from the chemistry lab. We bought some gray duct tape from a friendly neighborhood hardware, and began construction.

Our design called for a rocket three feet wide on each side and twelve feet high. It was to be topped with a pyramidal structure, and it was to have four large fins at the bottom, with the fins extending down past the bottom of the main body so that the rocket could stand upright and have some clearance between the body and the ground.

We assembled the rocket in components: two six foot long body sections, four fins, and the nose pyramid, realizing that there wouldn't be any way to get it out of the basement if it was all in one piece. In fact, after we assembled the first body section, we found that it wouldn't fit through the door without some squeezing, a maneuver that wouldn't be possible after the rocket engine and fuel tanks were installed. So, we went back to the rocket design center and reduced the width of the sides to 28 inches each, which worked and also gave the nose pyramid a sexy overhang.

Replacing the already assembled body section required stealing more cardboard from Bob Love, but, again, our morals did more to cheer us on than inhibit us. Soon, we had all the body components assembled, and were ready to begin building and installing the engine and fuel tanks. We had checked our design many times, but we knew this part was going to be tricky.

Although the exterior of the rocket was square in cross section, our research showed us that the laws of psychodythermics demanded that the rocket engine be round. One of Floyd's neighbors was having new gutters installed on his house and we were able to obtain a ten foot long section of round downspout from the remains of the old guttering which the workmen had removed. We didn't even have to steal it, they were happy to have us haul it away. When asked, good Americans will usually contribute to the cause of science.

Using coat hanger wire, we built a suspension system in the top of the upper body section that would hold up the ten foot long rocket engine, but decided not to install the engine until we had moved the components to the launch site. We were almost ready to move to launch phase. All that remained to create was the fuel.

A local minister had found cause to tell us, several times, that we were bound for hell. Therefore, when the youth group from his church set up a fireworks stand in anticipation of Independence Day, our morals had no problem with our considering the stand to be a free rocket fuel depot. Working late into a dark and stormy night, we acquired the fuel supply for our rocket.

By squeezing hard, we were able to fit five roman candles into the top of the engine pipe. After a trial fueling, we saw that the fuses were now some seven feet from the bottom of the engine, and there was no way to light them. Fortunately, our careful planning had allowed for this problem. Did you wonder what were going to do with the potassium nitrate?

We put a cup of potassium nitrate into a fruit jar, added two tablespoons of sugar, about two ounces of precious Southern Comfort, and filled the rest with water. After carefully stirring the mixture with a long handled spoon, we added a ten foot long piece of binder twine we had found behind a local stable, possibly thrown out to make room for any biblical visitors. We allowed the twine to soak while we drank some of the remaining Southern Comfort, then carefully removed it and allowed it to dry. Once it dried, we attached one end of it to the fuse on a roman candle and our ignition system was ready, needing only the application of a kitchen match to begin the launch process.

During the design phase we had decided that the conventional multi-stage approach used by the US and Soviet governments was too expensive and complex for our more modest rocket, although we felt that some sort of multi-staging was essential to achieving orbital speeds. Luckily, Southern Comfort came to our aid, lubricating our synapses enough to give us a solution, the potassium nitrate solution, in fact. We used the remaining potassium nitrate to paint the inside of the lower body section, giving us what we felt would be an effective second stage.

The year was 1959. Sputnik had been launched less than two years earlier, and there were only a few satellites in orbit. Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and The Big Bopper had died in Iowa earlier in the year. Fidel had marched into Havana. We thought the world was ready for personal rocketry, and prepared to sell tickets to the launch.

Poking around in the basement of the fraternity house, I discovered several rolls of tickets, the ones that say “Admit One” and come in a big roll. I took a roll and we were ready to make our fortunes. We had considered charging $100 each for tickets to the rocket launch, but decided we would probably make more money in the long run by charging 50¢. In three days we had sold 22 tickets, providing enough income to replace the bottle of Southern Comfort we had consumed during the construction phase.

In addition to my tiny sports car I owned a 1957 DeSoto FireFlite convertible. It was called a convertible because, by lowering the top, it became our rocket transport vehicle, the only practical use I ever found for the thing. It got about 7 miles to the gallon, not a big problem in those days, and used up a set of tires in less than 20,000 miles, an expensive problem in any days. But, it was a beautiful baby blue, had leather seats, and was very nice for double dates.

Launch day arrived after we had spent most of the previous night drinking Southern Comfort and anticipating the big event. It was raining. By evening it was pouring, and the countdown was halted. The next day it was still raining, and the day after that. Farmers were worrying about the crops flooding, lovers were being forced to find indoor venues, and our rocket was occupying a large portion of the apartment, being a fire hazard.

Finally, six days after the scheduled launch day, we were able to lower the top on the DeSoto and move the rocket to the launch site, a parking lot at the university. Carefully we inserted the fuel into the rocket engine, attached the engine to the suspension wires, and then, using the last of our duct tape, completed the assembly of the rocket. It was beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful rocket ever built by drunks.

We had no way of notifying the ticket holders of the new launch date, so we were alone with our magnificent rocket in a far corner of a parking lot. Carefully, we pushed it upright, then stood and marveled at the magnificence of our creation. Almost overcome with emotion, I handed a pack of matches to Floyd, and, kneeling, he lit one and held it to the end of our binder twine fuse running out from under the rocket. It sparked, sputtered, and went out.

Again, Floyd lit a match and held it to the end of the fuse. This time the fuse began to burn, the flame sparking and flashing, throwing off clouds of smoke, and working its way up toward the engine. Not being completely stupid, we hopped into the rocket transport vehicle and drove to the other end of the parking lot, where we stopped to watch the great launch.

After a short wait the first roman candle ignited and a burst of flame shot out from under the rocket, followed by a green ball of fire. A few seconds later the rest of the roman candles had ignited, throwing huge clouds of smoke and fire out from under our rocket, punctuated with brilliantly colored balls of fire bouncing out and along the pavement. At about that point a police car came roaring into the parking lot and stopped next to the rocket. That was when the second stage ignited, creating a huge pancake of smoke with balls of fire bouncing around in it.

The police car went into reverse and, tires screeching, backed away from the rocket, turned too quickly, and almost turned over. We decided it was time to return to the apartment and celebrate our success with some Southern Comfort. The last we saw of our rocket, it was still throwing out flames and huge gusts of smoke, and the second stage was beginning to burn through the cardboard. Two cops were standing beside their car, apparently mesmerized by the beauty of our rocket.

We never got to see our rocket take off, but, after consuming quite a bit of Southern Comfort, we retired for the night, confident that we had advanced the science of American rocketry, and that our rocket would be orbiting the earth for centuries.