Farm News 09-16-07

Genetics

Anoushka Shankar and Nora Jones share an 'X' chromosome from Ravi Shankar's mother. “Ah,” he sighed, “what a woman she was.” I've enjoyed listening to Breathing Under Water.

Here We Go Again

Atlanta, Georgia, has passed an ordnance forbidding low hanging pants. In the late 1960's it was long hair on males. Every so often America seems to find it necessary to declare war on its children, and it sounds like another war is about to begin. They lost the battle against long hair and they'll lose the battle against baggy pants, but before it's over there will be another generation with a large population of alienated kids, all because a bunch of self-righteous jerks think they should be able to control how young people express themselves. What is wrong with our culture that we think we must make war on our young people?

Viet Nam wasn't just a war against the godless communists, it was a war against young American men. Geezers would look at young men with long hair and mutter, “Ought to send them off to Viet Nam, by God, and make men out of them.” This time we don't have a draft, which makes it harder to straighten them out by sending them to war.

By the way, I find it interesting that the people who started the war in Iraq dodged the war in Viet Nam by joining the National Guard and Reserves. Now the Guard and Reserves carry the heaviest load in Iraq. Strange. Veterans returning from Viet Nam were all too often simply discarded by the government, and now veterans returning from Iraq are simply discarded, considered useless because their bodies and minds are broken. Our young people are not an expendable commodity to be thrown into war and then discarded when no longer useful as warriors. Whether we agree with the President on the war policy or not, decency demands that we provide the care our injured warriors require.

We talk about the 'greatest' generation, the generation that fought World War II. We fail to consider an important factor: in World War II the average soldier was almost ten years older than was the average soldier in Viet Nam. Bullets will penetrate a 29 year old body just as easily as they penetrate a 19 year old body. The difference, I think, is, when entire units are composed of soldiers under 25, there are no older, steadier hands around to help the young ones make it through the hard times.

We have 5,000 years of written records telling us that the young people of each generation are not as respectful, hard working, honest, or worthwhile as was the generation preceding them. If that 5,000 years of history is correct, then it is time for us to give up sex and quit making babies. One or two more generations and the human race will be so depraved that we won't deserve to inhabit the planet.

Geese

At the moment, there are four geese in the barn yard: Beth, Bebe, and two young and as yet unnamed geese. Beth and Bebe are both females, and their consorts were Sarge and Butch, respectively. A few months ago Sarge and Butch disappeared on the same night. I puzzled for a month or more as to how a predator could steal two ganders without leaving a pile of feathers somewhere. I've finally decided that the predator was probably a two-legged creature with overalls instead of feathers.

After the disappearance of both ganders, I'm left with two females and two of unknown sex. I hope one of them is a gander and the ladies will lay fertile eggs in the spring. There is a procedure for determining the sex of a goose, but geese become offended by the assault on their dignity and react with vigorous attempts to peck, bite, claw, and beat their assailant. A fully grown goose is a formidable adversary, one which I do not care to confront. It is much easier to observe the geese in the spring and, from watching their behavior, determine their sex. Actually, the behavior indicates their sexual orientation and is not definite about their sex, but I prefer the ambiguity to the pain resulting from an attack by an angry goose.

After Sarge and Butch disappeared I moved the remaining geese into the pasture, where they are much safer. The geese, though, prefer to graze on lawns that are regularly mowed, providing a constant supply of fresh, tender, young, growth. So, each morning, while doing morning chores, I open the gate to the pasture and let the geese out to spend the day patrolling the lawn. Lucy, the goat, also likes the lawn because of the nice, fresh, tasty, shrubbery, especially roses, which Lucy loves to nibble. When I open the gate to let the geese out of the pasture, or back into the pasture, Lucy makes a dash for the shrubbery. I can't stand at the opening and control the traffic because the two young geese are shy and refuse to go through the gate if I'm standing there.

Beth is the only goose I have left who was hatched in an incubator. When Beth is frightened she runs to me, not away from me; she is imprinted on humans. Beth doesn't like to be handled, few geese do, but she likes to be near me. She usually responds with a honk when I call her name, and, when loose in the yard, she tends to stay where she can keep me in sight if I am outside. She seems to be able to distinguish me from other humans.

Years ago I had an imprinted gander, Steamboat, who became a terrible nuisance. He followed me wherever I went outside, and, when I went into the house, Steamboat would park his fluffy butt on the porch, just outside the door, and wait for me. Birds are not constructed in such a way that they are able to learn to poop only in certain places, and Steamboat would deposit large piles of goose poop on the porch. Also, although he loved me, he despised all other humans and would attack anyone else in the yard. He also chased cars entering the driveway. I finally gave him away after he became a danger to visiting children.

Domestic geese can live for thirty years or more. They are extremely clannish and are very reluctant to accept a new member into the flock, (or a new human keeper), often harassing a new goose for several years before they will accept it. They know who they like and they actively display their dislike for everyone else. A nip by a goose usually results in a blood blister surrounded by a good-sized bruise. When angry they strike out with the leading edges of their wings, landing blows that feel a lot like whacks from a baseball bat.

Why keep geese? I don't know, I just like them, and goslings are wonderful babies. Imprinted goslings greet both geese and humans with deep bows; a gaggle of goslings will line up to greet a human and, one at a time, step in front of the human, bow deeply, and then move over to make room for the next gosling. They are primarily grass eaters, so they are inexpensive to keep. Their eggs are delicious.

There are several breeds of geese. Chinese and African geese have knobs at the tops of their beaks, are ill tempered, and sound like loud steam whistles. The big gray fluffy geese are Toulouse, the breed I keep. Pilgrim geese are gentle and are sex-linked to color: the males are buff and the females white (I think that's right). Sebastopol geese have curly feathers, giving them the appearance of large, self-propelled, dust mops.

Geese do not need ponds. Generally, only the young ones enjoy swimming, an activity which puts them within reach of snapping turtles and other aquatic predators. Geese do need a bit of shallow water in which to breed. My geese have a 2' x 3' plastic pan with about 3” of water in it where they enjoy noisy bouts of sex in the spring. Unlike many wild geese, domestic geese will live in harems with one gander and five or six females.