Farm News
Farm News
Sunday morning, after chores, 55°, gray and damp
Ayte Bunnies
Ayte received her name because Calvin doesn't name livestock but numbers them, and I, being the holder of the pen, perversely change the numbers to names. Currently there are four breeding age does in the rabbitry: Rosie, Svenn, Ayte, and Nyn. Calvin just shakes his head and mumbles something about, “Old people . . ..”
Sometime between 9:00pm Saturday and 7:00am Sunday Ayte had bunnies. Wednesday or Thursday we will check the nest box and try to count the bunnies. Their eyes should open on March 2nd and after that they will be able to leave the nest for several hours at a time to go on adventures with friends.
These bunnies were born in a nest box lined with shredded paper, thanks to a reader who answered my call for shredded paper. Ayte greatly appreciated the lining and has her babies tucked in carefully at the back of the box.
'Fro and the New Trick
Have you ever had the pleasure of putting up with a street hustler? These guys are capable of provoking violent urges in goldfish. A street hustler once put his head on my shoulder and cried because he was on his way back to prison. He had wanted to get high, and just because he stole some money from a guy in a wheelchair, they were going to send him back to prison. He hadn't hurt the guy in the wheelchair, and all he wanted was some money to get high on. And, he was trying to get over wanting to get high because he was in a treatment program as part of his parole, so he hadn't really violated parole, and on, and on. . .. Well, 'Fro is a street hustler with ratty feathers.
Trusty is a good puppy: hyperactive, fixated on oral stimulation (he chews everything), alert and ready to bark at every movement of the dog on the other side of the road, and under foot a great deal of the time. For years I have said that stupidity is a wonderful trait in domestic animals. Smart animals get in trouble, but dumb ones just follow along and keep you warm on cold nights. Trusty is a fine example of the kind of problems an intelligent domestic animal can bring to the place. At fourteen months he is a fully grown, hyperactive idiot equipped with an 'intelligence' closely resembling that of a seventh grade kid in its misfitting connections with reality.
Trusty has discovered that male poultry react to having something run back and forth in front of them. In the case of 'Fro, the reaction is that eventually 'Fro starts chasing whatever is running back and forth in front of him. 'Fro is a bird, dumb in some ways and brilliant in others. Particularly, he's dumb in brains and brilliant in feathers.
Anyway, 'Fro reacts by starting to chase Trusty, which is just what Trusty wants. Trusty leads 'Fro out away from the barnyard, where, eventually, 'Fro realizes he is a long way from safety. Quickly, he turns, as does Trusty, and the chase resumes, with the participants reversed in order, 'Fro now being chased by Trusty. As they approach the hen house 'Fro, being back on home turf, turns and faces Trusty, who also turns and starts running away, with 'Fro, of course, in hot pursuit. If these guys weren't so stupid they could learn to be Keystone Kops.
The back and forth dog and rooster race has been occurring daily for a week or more, now. Recently, Christmas, the tom turkey, has been joining in the fun. It takes Christmas a while to relax his feathers, which are normally sticking out as he struts, and he can't run well until his feathers are flat. Then he can go like a streak. By the time Christmas has changed from heroic to high speed configuration the dog and rooster may have done two laps and be ready for a break. As they come galloping into the barn yard, apparently on a collision course, a disturbance occurs and a blue streak comes flashing out of the general cluster of poultry, heading straight for the dog.
Christmas would like to give Trusty a good hard peck on the butt, but he knows that Trusty could take his head off with one snap, so he is cautious. Christmas enjoys dancing around Trusty, waiting for a moment when Trusty isn't looking at him, waiting for the moment to jump at Trusty, almost peck him on the butt, and jump back before Trusty can react. Christmas never actually pecks Trusty, that would be entirely too dangerous.
When the relays start up, and Christmas finally gets his gears shifted, he heads straight for the dog, but never actually touches the dog. At the last moment each veers off a bit. This change in direction keeps the dog from intersecting with the rooster, and all of them dash off into the sunset or whatever it is shining in their eyes.
It wasn't until this week that I realized that as they ran back and forth, their paths were tracing out Feynman diagrams. There used to be a bunch of ducks here who were interested in astrophysics. The astrophysical ducks all left on conference tours and have not returned. It's nice to see cultural interest in the fundamental nature of nature has developed in the barnyard. The hyperactive adolescent puppy, the balding flashy dude rooster, and the testosterone soaked turkey are, individually, dumber than weeds, but, by working together, they can trace out Feynman diagrams. It's amazing that anyone could see such a thing happen and not believe in Intelligent Design.
E-mail Subscribers: Subscriptions are free until 2036, when they will increase to $5 per year. To subscribe, unsubscribe, contribute stories, complain or send a gift subscription, send an email to FarmNews@GeezerNet.com . The editor reserves the right to steal ideas submitted, rewrite submissions, and sign false names to them whenever it strikes his fancy to do so.
Sunday morning, after chores, 55°, gray and damp
Ayte Bunnies
Ayte received her name because Calvin doesn't name livestock but numbers them, and I, being the holder of the pen, perversely change the numbers to names. Currently there are four breeding age does in the rabbitry: Rosie, Svenn, Ayte, and Nyn. Calvin just shakes his head and mumbles something about, “Old people . . ..”
Sometime between 9:00pm Saturday and 7:00am Sunday Ayte had bunnies. Wednesday or Thursday we will check the nest box and try to count the bunnies. Their eyes should open on March 2nd and after that they will be able to leave the nest for several hours at a time to go on adventures with friends.
These bunnies were born in a nest box lined with shredded paper, thanks to a reader who answered my call for shredded paper. Ayte greatly appreciated the lining and has her babies tucked in carefully at the back of the box.
'Fro and the New Trick
Have you ever had the pleasure of putting up with a street hustler? These guys are capable of provoking violent urges in goldfish. A street hustler once put his head on my shoulder and cried because he was on his way back to prison. He had wanted to get high, and just because he stole some money from a guy in a wheelchair, they were going to send him back to prison. He hadn't hurt the guy in the wheelchair, and all he wanted was some money to get high on. And, he was trying to get over wanting to get high because he was in a treatment program as part of his parole, so he hadn't really violated parole, and on, and on. . .. Well, 'Fro is a street hustler with ratty feathers.
Trusty is a good puppy: hyperactive, fixated on oral stimulation (he chews everything), alert and ready to bark at every movement of the dog on the other side of the road, and under foot a great deal of the time. For years I have said that stupidity is a wonderful trait in domestic animals. Smart animals get in trouble, but dumb ones just follow along and keep you warm on cold nights. Trusty is a fine example of the kind of problems an intelligent domestic animal can bring to the place. At fourteen months he is a fully grown, hyperactive idiot equipped with an 'intelligence' closely resembling that of a seventh grade kid in its misfitting connections with reality.
Trusty has discovered that male poultry react to having something run back and forth in front of them. In the case of 'Fro, the reaction is that eventually 'Fro starts chasing whatever is running back and forth in front of him. 'Fro is a bird, dumb in some ways and brilliant in others. Particularly, he's dumb in brains and brilliant in feathers.
Anyway, 'Fro reacts by starting to chase Trusty, which is just what Trusty wants. Trusty leads 'Fro out away from the barnyard, where, eventually, 'Fro realizes he is a long way from safety. Quickly, he turns, as does Trusty, and the chase resumes, with the participants reversed in order, 'Fro now being chased by Trusty. As they approach the hen house 'Fro, being back on home turf, turns and faces Trusty, who also turns and starts running away, with 'Fro, of course, in hot pursuit. If these guys weren't so stupid they could learn to be Keystone Kops.
The back and forth dog and rooster race has been occurring daily for a week or more, now. Recently, Christmas, the tom turkey, has been joining in the fun. It takes Christmas a while to relax his feathers, which are normally sticking out as he struts, and he can't run well until his feathers are flat. Then he can go like a streak. By the time Christmas has changed from heroic to high speed configuration the dog and rooster may have done two laps and be ready for a break. As they come galloping into the barn yard, apparently on a collision course, a disturbance occurs and a blue streak comes flashing out of the general cluster of poultry, heading straight for the dog.
Christmas would like to give Trusty a good hard peck on the butt, but he knows that Trusty could take his head off with one snap, so he is cautious. Christmas enjoys dancing around Trusty, waiting for a moment when Trusty isn't looking at him, waiting for the moment to jump at Trusty, almost peck him on the butt, and jump back before Trusty can react. Christmas never actually pecks Trusty, that would be entirely too dangerous.
When the relays start up, and Christmas finally gets his gears shifted, he heads straight for the dog, but never actually touches the dog. At the last moment each veers off a bit. This change in direction keeps the dog from intersecting with the rooster, and all of them dash off into the sunset or whatever it is shining in their eyes.
It wasn't until this week that I realized that as they ran back and forth, their paths were tracing out Feynman diagrams. There used to be a bunch of ducks here who were interested in astrophysics. The astrophysical ducks all left on conference tours and have not returned. It's nice to see cultural interest in the fundamental nature of nature has developed in the barnyard. The hyperactive adolescent puppy, the balding flashy dude rooster, and the testosterone soaked turkey are, individually, dumber than weeds, but, by working together, they can trace out Feynman diagrams. It's amazing that anyone could see such a thing happen and not believe in Intelligent Design.
E-mail Subscribers: Subscriptions are free until 2036, when they will increase to $5 per year. To subscribe, unsubscribe, contribute stories, complain or send a gift subscription, send an email to FarmNews@GeezerNet.com . The editor reserves the right to steal ideas submitted, rewrite submissions, and sign false names to them whenever it strikes his fancy to do so.
posted by The Geezer at 9:25 AM
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