Farm News
Farm News
Sunday morning, after chores, 36° with mud, ice, and snow
Zoe's Trip to the City
Of Rosie's five bunnies, one is mostly white with nice brown spots. Tuesday morning she made her second tour of various Lawrence health care facilities while I had fun revisiting City Centered Pump Plumbers, the outfit in the fancy building. I was there to hear them tell me that I was a responsible pumping adult, and that I could retain my license to write drivel. Well, as I said earlier, that building was the kind that only a rodent could navigate through efficiently, but, although I didn't have a rodent with me, I had the next best thing, a lagomorph, commonly called a rabbit. We were able to go straight to the correct office in record time, climbing stairs instead of using elevators.
When the nice women in the office saw the bunny they were quite delighted, as I knew they would be. There is nothing like a bunny to attract women. Some fellers are of the opinion that a large Rottweiler makes them look studly and that will attract women. They may be right but I'm pretty sure my method attracts more women than their method. It may be that they are looking to attract only specific kinds of women, but my experience has led me to think that having lots of women around is usually a good idea, and it doesn't make much difference what kind or age of women they are.
If there are some women around, some of them will probably fix something to eat. That is good. Several of them will find reasons for men to not engage in such silliness as taking a rabbit to visit the cardiologist. That is not good. Occasionally, one of them will kiss the nearest old geezer. That possibility completely rules the whole thing, so, having lots of women around is a good idea.
Anyway, what happened in that office was that those nice young women named the bunny 'Zoe', which sounded fine to the bunny and didn't bother me at all. 'Zoe' she became, and off we went to more adventures. We stopped in at several other offices that we had visited before and visited several other offices we hadn't been in before. Zoe thought it was all quite interesting and had a nice time.
Editor Visits Cardiologist
While Zoe was gaining her name and entertaining nice women, this editor was visiting the cardiologist for a follow up on what they found when they peeked into my heart. Basically, everything was about as good as could be expected, with nothing showing that would interfere with my plan to live to age 115.
Because this was just a follow up, I saw a nurse practitioner instead of an MD. No problem, the only MD in the place that I like is an inscrutable weirdo who makes delphic pronouncements. His most recent diagnosis, as given to me, was, “There's mischief afoot.”
Sophia, the nurse practitioner, is a beautiful young woman, originally from Russia, with a voice that makes one think of wildflowers nodding in a gentle breeze on the steppes. I'm such a country sucker I fall for these acts pretty easily. Actually, she is an agent of the Cardiologist's Conspiracy, a group of physicians and nurses determined to treat me for high blood pressure.
I have never had high blood pressure in my life, as far as I know. Usually, it's low, sometimes quite low. The Cardiologist's Conspiracy, though, wants me to take blood pressure lowering medication. Sophia touched her fingertips to my chest as she listened to my heart. Of course my blood pressure went up a bit, it would have been ungentlemanly not to.
I ended up with a prescription for some chemical concoction that would lower my blood pressure, and it did just that. After four days the pressure was down to 98/58 and I was down to lying on my back with my head low in order to maintain consciousness. And that is why Farm News doesn't amount to much this week.
Same Sex Marriage
The Kansas legislature has been found to be in violation of the Kansas constitution by the Kansas supreme court because the legislature has not adequately funded education. The legislature has responded by passing a call for a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage.
Everyone understands that same sex marriage can be dangerous. Two women, both with PMS, who have lived together for twenty years, might present a real danger to each other and anyone nearby if they were married. However, I think that facing that sort of danger should be a personal choice, like smoking, and that the government shouldn't ban it, although the government might not want it done in public buildings. Therefore, I would accept a ban on same sex marriage in public buildings, including schools. What a unique approach to repairing an unconstitutional school finance problem!
E-mail Subscribers: Subscriptions are free until 2036, when they will increase to $5 per year. To send a gift subscription, send an email to FarmNews@GeezerNet.com with ‘gift’ in the subject line and the email address to which it is to be sent in the body of the message. Gift subscriptions might be acknowledged in the newsletter.
To subscribe or unsubscribe send an email to FarmNews@RuralNet1.com with either subscribe or unsubscribe in the subject line. If you wish to contribute a few paragraphs or address complaints to the editor, put them in an email and send them to the same address with something else in the subject line. The editor reserves the right to steal ideas submitted, rewrite submissions, and sign false names to them whenever it strikes his fancy to do so.
Sunday morning, after chores, 36° with mud, ice, and snow
Zoe's Trip to the City
Of Rosie's five bunnies, one is mostly white with nice brown spots. Tuesday morning she made her second tour of various Lawrence health care facilities while I had fun revisiting City Centered Pump Plumbers, the outfit in the fancy building. I was there to hear them tell me that I was a responsible pumping adult, and that I could retain my license to write drivel. Well, as I said earlier, that building was the kind that only a rodent could navigate through efficiently, but, although I didn't have a rodent with me, I had the next best thing, a lagomorph, commonly called a rabbit. We were able to go straight to the correct office in record time, climbing stairs instead of using elevators.
When the nice women in the office saw the bunny they were quite delighted, as I knew they would be. There is nothing like a bunny to attract women. Some fellers are of the opinion that a large Rottweiler makes them look studly and that will attract women. They may be right but I'm pretty sure my method attracts more women than their method. It may be that they are looking to attract only specific kinds of women, but my experience has led me to think that having lots of women around is usually a good idea, and it doesn't make much difference what kind or age of women they are.
If there are some women around, some of them will probably fix something to eat. That is good. Several of them will find reasons for men to not engage in such silliness as taking a rabbit to visit the cardiologist. That is not good. Occasionally, one of them will kiss the nearest old geezer. That possibility completely rules the whole thing, so, having lots of women around is a good idea.
Anyway, what happened in that office was that those nice young women named the bunny 'Zoe', which sounded fine to the bunny and didn't bother me at all. 'Zoe' she became, and off we went to more adventures. We stopped in at several other offices that we had visited before and visited several other offices we hadn't been in before. Zoe thought it was all quite interesting and had a nice time.
Editor Visits Cardiologist
While Zoe was gaining her name and entertaining nice women, this editor was visiting the cardiologist for a follow up on what they found when they peeked into my heart. Basically, everything was about as good as could be expected, with nothing showing that would interfere with my plan to live to age 115.
Because this was just a follow up, I saw a nurse practitioner instead of an MD. No problem, the only MD in the place that I like is an inscrutable weirdo who makes delphic pronouncements. His most recent diagnosis, as given to me, was, “There's mischief afoot.”
Sophia, the nurse practitioner, is a beautiful young woman, originally from Russia, with a voice that makes one think of wildflowers nodding in a gentle breeze on the steppes. I'm such a country sucker I fall for these acts pretty easily. Actually, she is an agent of the Cardiologist's Conspiracy, a group of physicians and nurses determined to treat me for high blood pressure.
I have never had high blood pressure in my life, as far as I know. Usually, it's low, sometimes quite low. The Cardiologist's Conspiracy, though, wants me to take blood pressure lowering medication. Sophia touched her fingertips to my chest as she listened to my heart. Of course my blood pressure went up a bit, it would have been ungentlemanly not to.
I ended up with a prescription for some chemical concoction that would lower my blood pressure, and it did just that. After four days the pressure was down to 98/58 and I was down to lying on my back with my head low in order to maintain consciousness. And that is why Farm News doesn't amount to much this week.
Same Sex Marriage
The Kansas legislature has been found to be in violation of the Kansas constitution by the Kansas supreme court because the legislature has not adequately funded education. The legislature has responded by passing a call for a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage.
Everyone understands that same sex marriage can be dangerous. Two women, both with PMS, who have lived together for twenty years, might present a real danger to each other and anyone nearby if they were married. However, I think that facing that sort of danger should be a personal choice, like smoking, and that the government shouldn't ban it, although the government might not want it done in public buildings. Therefore, I would accept a ban on same sex marriage in public buildings, including schools. What a unique approach to repairing an unconstitutional school finance problem!
E-mail Subscribers: Subscriptions are free until 2036, when they will increase to $5 per year. To send a gift subscription, send an email to FarmNews@GeezerNet.com with ‘gift’ in the subject line and the email address to which it is to be sent in the body of the message. Gift subscriptions might be acknowledged in the newsletter.
To subscribe or unsubscribe send an email to FarmNews@RuralNet1.com with either subscribe or unsubscribe in the subject line. If you wish to contribute a few paragraphs or address complaints to the editor, put them in an email and send them to the same address with something else in the subject line. The editor reserves the right to steal ideas submitted, rewrite submissions, and sign false names to them whenever it strikes his fancy to do so.
posted by The Geezer at 8:39 AM
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