Farm News 12-18-05
Sunday morning, after chores, 24°
Persimmons
The north porch of the house is enclosed by a lattice trellis. The north side is densely covered with Wintercreeper, Euonymous fortunei, a vine which keeps its leaves all winter. At the east end is large flowered Clematis which is still small. The west end is rapidly being covered by Everblooming Honeysuckle, Lonicera x hekrottii. The porch is shady and feels secluded.
At the east end is a picnic table, and in the middle of the table is a nice little white bucket of persimmons. They've been sitting there, freezing at night and thawing on warm days for a week or more and they are at their best. Now, a persimmon's best may not be much compared to a peach's best, but they're tasty enough. Lightly frozen they have a nice texture.
The common Persimmon, Diospyros viriniana, is a nice roundheaded tree related to Ebony. Their only drawback is the fruit. They make a lot of it and it's juicy. The ground under a persimmon tree can be quite slippery from fallen fruit, but when you look up into the tree you see that it is still loaded with fruit. The fallen fruit makes Persimmons too messy to be good yard trees, but in the pasture or woods they are fine.
Persimmons readily start from seeds, in fact twenty or thirty sprout every year in the yard around the big trees. Coons and deer like the fruit when it finally ripens and so does the hyperactive dog. Trusty picks up fallen fruit and carries it up to the porch. Then he waits until someone steps on it, leaving a juicy mess, half of which he eats.
Puppy Update
The smallest of the four puppies died at one week of age. The other three, though, are growing like a bunch of dogs and now have their eyes open. If Dana had a worthwhile husband he would be keeping a couple of milk goats to provide milk for the babies in the household. They have four children and three puppies, all of whom would benefit from goat milk.
Young couples who are contemplating children should first purchase a milk goat. Learning to properly keep a milk goat will teach you most of what you need to know to raise children. First, the goat will need to be milked twice a day, at the same time every day, seven days a week, ten months a year. Then, after ten months of milking and two months of rest, the goat will have babies, which requires that you stay with her during her labor and delivery. After that you will be ready to consider human babies.
Dr. M. Goes to New Jersey
Dr. M., who is also Lt. M., US Army, will be going to Fort Monmouth, NJ, where she will be taking care of such animals as Homeland Security guard dogs. Good luck in your new posting, Dr. M. Your comments here are greatly appreciated.
Ting Doesn't Go to Texas
Ting, the surviving member of Ting and Ling, the Somerset Twins, told me she received an offer of a job as cocktail lounge singing waitress in a geriatric facility somewhere in Texas. How this happened, I do not know. She claims that she read the ad in the paper and applied by phone, using the phone in the barn.
Ting's ethical code, whatever it may be, does not address the matter of truthfulness in any way. Ting's reading ability seldom is better than that of a persimmon. Also, the phone in the barn has an old-fashioned rotary dial, just to keep birds like Ting from making long distance calls. She didn't read the ad and she didn't make a call. But I don't really care if she is lying.
She is a vain, dishonest, pompous old bag, and if she can find a new home I won't question the means. An email has arrived from a wildlife rehab person in Texas, asking Ting to confirm her acceptance of a job scratching up the litter in duck pens. If those Texans think they are going to get any worthwhile effort out of Ting they have been breathing too much Texas air.
Then Calvin, bless his pointed head, mentioned that an owl is the head housekeeper at the place in Texas. There are times when I would like to whack him with a stick. Ting immediately stiffened and declared that she was not the sort of chicken who would live with an owl in the same house and she had changed her mind and would decline the position. It appears that Ting will continue to be underfoot, attacking ankles and shoes or anything else within reach.
Classified Ads
For sale or trade: 16 year old dim sister. Mouth works great, slow in rest of body. Hobbies include eating, sleeping, and arguing. Will trade for goats, sheep, calves, ponies, or something that does not argue. No cats or dogs in lest it is a coonhound, Mom said. Contact Calvin.
Free, 18 year old brother. Eats like a horse, snores like a buzz saw, can't spell, smells like dirty used socks. Hobbies: tall tales, hunting, fishing, trading anything, and trapping. Also have to take coonhounds, skunk hides from freezer, and ripe smelling billy goat. Please respond soon. Contact Calvin's sister.
Persimmons
The north porch of the house is enclosed by a lattice trellis. The north side is densely covered with Wintercreeper, Euonymous fortunei, a vine which keeps its leaves all winter. At the east end is large flowered Clematis which is still small. The west end is rapidly being covered by Everblooming Honeysuckle, Lonicera x hekrottii. The porch is shady and feels secluded.
At the east end is a picnic table, and in the middle of the table is a nice little white bucket of persimmons. They've been sitting there, freezing at night and thawing on warm days for a week or more and they are at their best. Now, a persimmon's best may not be much compared to a peach's best, but they're tasty enough. Lightly frozen they have a nice texture.
The common Persimmon, Diospyros viriniana, is a nice roundheaded tree related to Ebony. Their only drawback is the fruit. They make a lot of it and it's juicy. The ground under a persimmon tree can be quite slippery from fallen fruit, but when you look up into the tree you see that it is still loaded with fruit. The fallen fruit makes Persimmons too messy to be good yard trees, but in the pasture or woods they are fine.
Persimmons readily start from seeds, in fact twenty or thirty sprout every year in the yard around the big trees. Coons and deer like the fruit when it finally ripens and so does the hyperactive dog. Trusty picks up fallen fruit and carries it up to the porch. Then he waits until someone steps on it, leaving a juicy mess, half of which he eats.
Puppy Update
The smallest of the four puppies died at one week of age. The other three, though, are growing like a bunch of dogs and now have their eyes open. If Dana had a worthwhile husband he would be keeping a couple of milk goats to provide milk for the babies in the household. They have four children and three puppies, all of whom would benefit from goat milk.
Young couples who are contemplating children should first purchase a milk goat. Learning to properly keep a milk goat will teach you most of what you need to know to raise children. First, the goat will need to be milked twice a day, at the same time every day, seven days a week, ten months a year. Then, after ten months of milking and two months of rest, the goat will have babies, which requires that you stay with her during her labor and delivery. After that you will be ready to consider human babies.
Dr. M. Goes to New Jersey
Dr. M., who is also Lt. M., US Army, will be going to Fort Monmouth, NJ, where she will be taking care of such animals as Homeland Security guard dogs. Good luck in your new posting, Dr. M. Your comments here are greatly appreciated.
Ting Doesn't Go to Texas
Ting, the surviving member of Ting and Ling, the Somerset Twins, told me she received an offer of a job as cocktail lounge singing waitress in a geriatric facility somewhere in Texas. How this happened, I do not know. She claims that she read the ad in the paper and applied by phone, using the phone in the barn.
Ting's ethical code, whatever it may be, does not address the matter of truthfulness in any way. Ting's reading ability seldom is better than that of a persimmon. Also, the phone in the barn has an old-fashioned rotary dial, just to keep birds like Ting from making long distance calls. She didn't read the ad and she didn't make a call. But I don't really care if she is lying.
She is a vain, dishonest, pompous old bag, and if she can find a new home I won't question the means. An email has arrived from a wildlife rehab person in Texas, asking Ting to confirm her acceptance of a job scratching up the litter in duck pens. If those Texans think they are going to get any worthwhile effort out of Ting they have been breathing too much Texas air.
Then Calvin, bless his pointed head, mentioned that an owl is the head housekeeper at the place in Texas. There are times when I would like to whack him with a stick. Ting immediately stiffened and declared that she was not the sort of chicken who would live with an owl in the same house and she had changed her mind and would decline the position. It appears that Ting will continue to be underfoot, attacking ankles and shoes or anything else within reach.
Classified Ads
For sale or trade: 16 year old dim sister. Mouth works great, slow in rest of body. Hobbies include eating, sleeping, and arguing. Will trade for goats, sheep, calves, ponies, or something that does not argue. No cats or dogs in lest it is a coonhound, Mom said. Contact Calvin.
Free, 18 year old brother. Eats like a horse, snores like a buzz saw, can't spell, smells like dirty used socks. Hobbies: tall tales, hunting, fishing, trading anything, and trapping. Also have to take coonhounds, skunk hides from freezer, and ripe smelling billy goat. Please respond soon. Contact Calvin's sister.
posted by The Geezer at 9:22 AM
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